Their Voices

​Where is the voice of my
Ancestors on my tongue?

Without their words
I lose their stories,
I lose their lessons,
I lose their pain.

Without their words
Future generations
Have no context to their
Past, present and future.

Without their words
I am an outsider
To my own culture,
And I am disowned.

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Mom’s Cooking

Garlic and onions sauté,
The smell so intoxicating.
With natural instinct I am led
To the center of it all.

Mom stands there with
Confidence and purpose.
Stove tops and rice cookers on,
Knife in hand.

The aromas of the vegetables
And the sauces bombard
My nostrils.
I have joined her cause.

We laugh and cook,
Dance and sing.
Just like old times,
We are brought together again.

Reality

Text displayed piercing & cold,

My heart suddenly plunges.

Dad’s age shoved in my face,

Little lamb lost in the fold.

 

His words being smothered

By heavy storm clouds.

Intangible, invisible;

His thoughts go unheard.

 

My whole being in shock,

What the hell do I do?

A slap of loving advice

Open my mind, unlock.

 

Take him to the hospital,

Something must be wrong.

How could this have happened?

Where’s the doctor to make a call?

 

Hours pass towards the unknown.

Hysterical laughter creeps in,

We are not … mad,

Inside losing control.

 

There are no answers.

Where I Want to Be

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So I’ve decided to challenge myself today by using Fat Mum Slim’s Photo a Day challenge to inspire me to write.  For April 7th the topic is: where I’d rather be…

I visited my parents today so here & now, sitting on my parents’ couch, watching TV with my Dad, is where I want to be. I haven’t visited for almost two weeks so it was nice to come home, cuddle with the family dog, savor my mom’s cooking and catch up with everyone. Living on the other end of town gives me a lot of time to miss all the comforts of home so it’s nice to be back in a busy & noisey place; it’s my kind of relaxation. 

Goal Accomplished

Thursday was a very successful day for me. I conquered a major goal that I’ve been waiting many years to complete. I passed my Motorcycle Road Test and in a couple of weeks I will be legally able to ride a motorcycle! This goal was important to me for a couple of reasons: as a child I spent quality time with my father by hopping on his scooter and because many people have said I can’t do it.

Going with my Dad for bike rides brings back happy memories for me. He had less health problems back then and was capable of doing many tasks. A memory that has stuck with me over the years was when my Dad would pick me up at my elementary school at the end of the day and I would put on my super rad helmet, hop on his scooter, and take off. It was never a long ride home but I always felt free and content. On other trips we would go to a nearby swimming pool down the windy, bumpy road and I thought it was the best thing ever! I think I treasure these joyful moments so much because they were all before a great family tragedy that would change my Dad forever.

Now, I am a 5′ 2″ female and I believe you can guess how many times I have been told I shouldn’t, or just can’t, ride a motorcycle. They usually suggest I get a cute little scooter that I can do my errands with. This is one of those instances where I feel the need to say, “Screw that, I’m doing it!” Whenever someone feels the need to tell me I can’t do something I get a sudden urge to do the opposite. I hate it when people underestimate me so I must prove them wrong! This is another reason why I followed through completing a weekend motorcycle course then passing my Motorcycle Road Test. I wont’ lie, I was nervous at first and intimidated by the idea of riding a motorcycle, but once I learned the skills to safely operate it I had an absolute blast. I stumbled a bit along the way and at one point I questioned whether this was right for little ol’ me. But, I persevered and accomplished my goal.

Who would have thought one simple test could mean so much? I guess I’m chasing old memories that I can never get back and trying to take control of my life…